Standardized Test Mayhem
by Arcanine
Summary: PG-13 for the usual things that happen around hentai fangirls...or at least my friend. Not me, my friend! I started writing this and my 2 friends added to it. CHAPTER 4 UP! Stuff, torture ideas, and just plain insanity! R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Yes, it's been done before…many, many times before!  Multi-author fanfic, done with me, SSJA; Sakki; and Voldy.  But we don't copy other authors, and our fics always end up—unique!  Yeah…unique…  This started out because I was bored the period before we had to take a standardized test.  Sakki added something to it during lunchtime, and Voldy started writing in it the next day.  One week later, chapter one has resulted!  MWAHAHAHAHAHA!  

****

**FUSHIGI YUUGI TRUTH OR DARE!**

The Fanfiction War!  Multi-author insanity!  Better than Pure Insanity!

Because it's more hentai, more hilarious and…well…we said so, ok?  Good!

^_^

                "Damn, I hate standardized tests…" muttered SSJA in English class one day.

                But it wasn't just any day, oh no.  It was the first day of a stupid standardized state test…thing.  It was evil, and every student in her grade knew it.  What better way to spend the class period before, than write a stupid fanfic instead of listening to the teacher!  

                Zapping herself into the Fushigi Yuugi Universe disguised as Yui was always a fun thing to do.  In some fanfic she had written before, the Seiryu seishi had kidnapped Tama-neko, so she decided to start writing where that plot had left off.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

                "Hi everybody!" 'Yui' exclaimed cheerfully.  

                "We still have the cat hostage." Amiboshi informed her.

                "OK.  In that case…PREPARE THE MACHINE!" Yui exclaimed, with a dramatic pause for effect somewhere in that sentence.

                Everyone gasped.  So that was what they were going to do the Suzaku seishi.  The gasps were replaced by laughter.  (If you think I'm revealing the plot now…!)  

                A short while later, the Suzaku seishi arrived—wearing galoshes, as planned.  (Hey, I made that part up when it was 10 at night…)  

                "Guess what we're doing!" 'Yui' told them happily upon their arrival.

                "Where's the cat?" demanded Mitsukake, unnaturally loud.

                "He's OK.  We wouldn't really eat him." 'Yui' said.  "Bring the food inside.  We're going to play Truth or Dare.  Failure to do so will result in…THE KARAOKE MACHINE!!"

                (Spooky music!)

                "Sakki better not kill me for doing this later…" 'Yui' muttered and brought Sakki into the fic disguised as Miaka.  Sakki…don't kill me yet, ok?  You haven't seen the "good" part of the fic.

                "MIAKA?!?!" Sakki demanded, ready to chop SSJA's head off with the nearest blunt object.

                "Shut up and just pick dare, ok?" 'Yui' hissed back at her friend.  "And Chiriko, there's nothing in the rules that say you can't do certain things because you're underage."

                Chiriko swore.

                "I didn't teach him the damn words, why are y' all lookin' at me like that?!" Tasuki muttered.

                "'Miaka'!" 'Yui' exclaimed.  "Truth or dare."

                "Dare." Sakki said with a "what-the-hell?" look on her face.

                "I dare you to do in that room over there with Tasuki and—" 'Yui' said.  "You know.  But come back to the game, ok?"

                Tamahome shot the author a Death Glare™.  Anything to annoy you, Tamahome!  Did you know, it's fifteen minutes before the test?  It is, it is!  I hate the test!  Time passed.  The author had no ideas and stared at a half-blank page.  Inside the fic, Sakki came out of the room with Tasuki.  Tamahome shot the author more Death Glares™.  Ten minutes before the test!  Nobody stepped up to dare anyone else.  Finally, Tasuki said…

                "Chiriko, truth or dare?"

                "Um…" the genius replied.  "I could pick truth…or I could pick dare…I could say something stupid…or do something stupid…"

                "Shut up an' pick one!"

                "Dare?"

                "I dare ya to…" Tasuki said with a smile.  "Have some sake!  Here!"

                (Everyone sweatdropped and fell to the floor.)

                … … …

                Chiriko swayed dizzily and fell to the floor.  "That was…good…"

                "Oh, Suzaku!  You killed Chiriko!  You bastard!" Nuriko yelled, and slammed Tasuki into the wall.  

                "Tamahome no da." Chichiri said, because Chiriko was not in any mental state to ask questions now.  "Truth or dare na no da?"    

                "Dare." Tamahome replied.

                (Because THAT will be funny…)

                "Then I dare you to go over there and kiss Nakago na no da." Chichiri said.  "For a whole minute no da.  I would make it longer, but then I'd be a dead monk na no da."

                "You'll still be a dead monk na no da!" Tamahome yelled as he got up and tried to attempt murder.

                "Oh, another rule of the game?  You can't severely injure or kill anyone about what goes on in the game—even AFTER." SSJA reminded everyone.  "Which means no killing of any blue haired monks (no da)."

                "This is going to be something that we'll see in our nightmares for a long time…" Amiboshi muttered.

                (Once that's over…because I'm too lazy to write it…)

                "Chichiri!" Nakago said.  

                "AAH!" the seishi exclaimed, going SD in panic.  "Truth na no da!!"

                Nakago and Tamahome whispered together, trying to figure out a "suitable punishment".

**SAKKI WRITES**

                "Go fuck Yui and Miaka simultaneously!" Nakago proclaimed.

                "What the hell!!" Tamahome screeched (which was unnaturally high-pitched for a guy.)  Sakki paled and Yui…Well…Yui was unconscious since Miaka couldn't stand her yelling in her hair.  

                (SSJA: Or at least yelling things like "NO!", "WHAT THE?!" and so on in the cafeteria where some normal people were looking on…hehehe…)

**SSJA writes**

"If you lay a finger on Yui-sama, I'll kill you." Suboshi informed the shocked monk (na no da).

                "Guys!" 'Yui' exclaimed very happily, as she suddenly woke up.  "He didn't say 'dare', he said 'truth'!"

                "Thank Suzaku na no da!" Chichiri sighed with relief.

                "OK.  Uh-huh.  Nakago lost his turn.  Who's next?" 'Yui' asked.

                "Truth or dare is a scary game." Amiboshi said.

                Tasuki had recovered from his wall-shattering experience—literally "wall-shattering"—and Chiriko was in a slightly better mental state…though slightly delirious.

                "I haven't gone yet." Mitsukake said.

                "Ahhh!  It talks!" Chiriko yelled.

                "Tasuki?" Mitsukake asked.

                "Dare, so long as th' damn thing doesn't get me killed…" the bandit answered.

                "I dare you to…" Mitsukake paused.

                Everyone listened nervously.

                "Sing Blue Eyes Blue!" Mitsukake said.    

                "Bring in…THE KARAOKE MACHINE!" exclaimed Yui.

                "Ehehehe…" muttered Tasuki.

                The result would be similar to Amiboshi or Mitsukake singing "Ai to Iuna no Tatakai ni", which is Tamahome's song.  Anyway:

                "Watch me, everyone!" 'Yui' said hyperactively.

                She cupped her hands to her mouth to make her voice sound deeper and began to sing Blue Eyes Blue.  Everyone covered their ears, so she stopped.

                "THAT'S how you sing it, Tasuki."

                "Who's next?" Sakki wondered.

                "When it's your turn, you can't dare Tasuki to 'pack' you." 'Yui' told her.

                "Damn it!"

                "It is my fic…I don't want too much hentai." 

**Sakki writes, and SSJA flips out in first period**

                "Whatever." Sakki said.  Then here eyes took an evil glint.  "Then Suboshi, go 'pack' Yui!  You **KNOW you want to!"**

**SSJA writes again, and later finds out Sakki said that all because she was disguised as Miaka for part of the fic.  Yeeesh…talk about holding grudges!**

                'Yui' paled, turned bright red, and also looked slightly green.  She muttered under her breath something about how only Sakki could be so evil for writing that, and that she did the right thing by running away after 'Yui' got the story back. 

                "Pack?"

                "Fuck." Sakki explained.  "It's a joke.  Pack means fuck."

                "Oh."

                "Correction—Oh no." 'Yui' muttered.  "With huge emphasis on the "I'm-going-to-destroy-Sakki" part of the phrase."

                Tamahome and Sakki were about to collapse in hysterical laughter.  That's evil.  Oh well…I'll find some way to get you back, Sakki.  *Evil laugh*  Wait—you expect me to write that?!  YOU write it.  I'm NOT writing it!  You'll probably make it sick and detailed though…*sigh*…I'll write it…

(A short while later)  ßAHAHAHA!  See how undetailed it was?

**Later, Sakki sees this and…**

THE HENTAI SCENE THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!

                Sakki put in airplane earplugs guaranteed to block out both sound and pressure (trust me these things saved me lots of torture riding airplanes to the Philippines and Hong Kong!!)  

**As written by Voldy, in a conspiracy with Sakki**

(Note: Sakki told Voldy that Suboshi says "Yui-sama"…and as she put it… "Emphasis on SAMA!")

                "Yui-SAMA!  Where are you?" cried out Suboshi from under the blankets.

                "Down here." Said 'Yui SAMA' on the floor, running for her clothes.

                "Come back!" said Suboshi, grappling for Yui.  

                Yui SAMA made it to the door with her clothes on, while knocking out Suboshi with a lightbulb, then dragging his unconscious body by the ears down the hallway and into a garbage can.

**Sakki, as we left the cafeteria**

                "Oooh, Yui-SAMA, I heard very interesting sounds coming from OVER THERE!!"

**SSJA**

                "How could you hear with those earplugs in, anyway?" 'Yui-SAMA' asked her evil hentai friend.

                Sakki's rude remarks continued (and she took out the earplugs because of her curiosity to hear her friend's torture.)

                "Shut up!" SSJA snapped.  "whose turn is it anyway?"

                "Um…" Sakki said, and looked around the room.

                "I demand that I get my turn back!" Nakago exclaimed.

                "No na no da!" Chichiri exclaimed.

                "I don't want him to get his turn back either…" SSJA agreed.

                "IT'S MY TURN!" Chiriko exclaimed.  "Hey, Hotohori-sama!"

                (…the drunken genius who stayed up too late…)

                "Um…" the uncertain emperor replied.  "Dare."

                (How bad could it be?) thought Hotohori.  (It's just Chiriko.)

                "I dare you to…be UGLY!" the genius said.

                "What?!" everyone yelled, Hotohori yelling the loudest.

                "Wh…what?!" Hotohori repeated.

                "How is he supposed to do that?" Nuriko asked.

                "I don't know." Chiriko said, and fell asleep.

                "Ah.  That was—" Hotohori said.  "Weird.  I guess it's my turn since he's out cold…"

                (From down the hallway somewhere, we suddenly hear "Hey!  Huh?  Why am I in the garbage?  Where's Yui-sama and everyone else?")

                "You stuffed him in the garbage?" Amiboshi asked.

                "And knocked him out with a lightbulb." SSJA agreed.

                "You told me I couldn't kill anyone—like Chichiri, or you—" Tamahome glared at the monk and the author with an evil Death Glare™.  "Because of 'game related events'."

                "I didn't kill him!" 

                Hotohori was trying to pick his victim.  "Hm…Is there anyone I have a grudge against?"  (And he continued to think.)

                "Ack!" yelled Voldy, falling from the ceiling.  "That's the last time I let SSJA draw me a map of the solar system!"

                "…Voldy?  That was my 'destroyed planets' list.  I think you fell through a black hole." SSJA said.  "And we're in the middle of a fic here!  You can stay!"

                "Hey!" Sakki exclaimed.  "Lookie!  Tomo and Hotohori look alike!"

                "Long lost siblings!" exclaimed 'Yui'.

                "How could you say I look like—him?!" Hotohori demanded.

                The two authors—but not Voldy—jumped at Tomo and proceeded to take off his makeup.

"Ahhh!" yelled everyone.  "Tomo is a bishounen!"

Hotohori nearly fainted at the thought of resembling one who normally looked so ugly and weird.

"Hey, look!  Nakago and Mitsukake look alike, too!" Sakki and 'Yui' yelled.

They were silenced by flying objects.  "…That's not nice…"

Suboshi—upon finding his way out of the garbage and getting dressed—wandered into he room, yelled "WHO'S THAT?!"

"THAT is Tomo!" 'Yui' said.

"We think he's Hotohori's long lost brother." Sakki agreed.

Nakago and Mitsukake stared at each other.  "Maybe we are related…?"

"This scares me na no da." Chichiri remarked.

"Yep." Tasuki nodded.

Voldy decided to try strangling Nakago because she didn't like him very much.  There was whatever noise a chi blast makes and Voldy flew into the wall.

"Look at all the pretty, shiny, bloody knives!" Voldy exclaimed as images of pretty, shiny, bloody knives circled her head.  "They killed all the little birdies!"

"Can we get on with the game?!" 'Yui' demanded.  "whose turn is it?"

**Sakki writes**

"Oh no you don't!!" Sakki said.  "I get free reign now in this story since SSJA can't think of anything!  Muhahahaha!"

"First…" Sakki pumped her fist in the air.  "I am a goddess Second Class, Third Category!  I am like Urd!"  kukukuku!  "I am gonna summon Ken from Weiss Kreuz!!"

(SSJA's Smartass corner: Seki Tomokazu plays Ken!  And Chichiri!  And some people from other shows!  And stuff like that!)

"2 planets soon link together

hand in hand

they become one like lovers

take this wildly passionate me

and come to me

with me

 in an imploding end!!

::SWIRL/SHINE::

"Kaiki kuso!"

"Now who is this lovely lady?" asked Yohji.

"Wahh!  I wanted Ken!  Not the playboy Yohji!  L!"

**SSJA**

"Uhh…" SSJA muttered.  "I sense a hentai!  And I'm still bored, so I will entertain you all with the fact that Yohji is played by the same guy as—KEISUKE!"

Me=smartass.      Me also=BORED.                Me also also=afraid of the word imploding!

**Sakki**

"Wahh!!  L  I wanted Ken!" the psuedo goddess said.

**SSJA**

"How about a PLOT?  Or something?" SSJA said.  "And what about the FY people…?"

SSJA/'Yui' pointed at the confused characters.

"HUH no da?" Chichiri asked.

"ONE LETTER WORDS!" Voldy yelled.  "Affairs with cats!"

"Shut up…" Somebody said.

"I'm bored…" 'Yui' muttered.

"It's OK." Sakki said 'nicely'.  "You can always pack Suboshi."

SLAM!

Sakki flew into a wall.

"Much better." SSJA said,

**VOLDY**

"Can I ask someone now?" asked Voldy.

"Sure." Said SSJA.

Voldy smiled maniacally. 

"Shit." Said SSJA.

Voldy started contemplating if she should dare Nakago to kill him himself or make Sakki eat pudding.  Suddenly, two soulder consciences pop up on Voldy's shoulders.  One said, "Make Sakki eat pudding in the name of um…NAMES!"

"Kill Nakago!  He refused to give you torture tips in that other 'fic!"

"Stop confusing me!  I'm running out of paper!" cried Voldy.  "Shit.  I don't have any…"

"paper!" said Voldy, erasing some unimportant French paper for space to write.

"Anyway, you should kill Nakago!" said the death-to-Nakago conscience.  

"No.  You need him fo rthe rest of the 'fic for plot reasons!" said the pudding conscience, stabbing the other conscience.

"You attempted to assault me!" said the kill-Nakago-shoulder-conscience.

Suddenly, Voldy's judge and lawyer consciences appear.

"This is confusing!  Go to a court!  Go poof and vanish!" yelled Voldy.

By now, everyone thought Voldy was a schizophrenic.  Suddenly, the consciences went POOF.

"Finally!" said Voldy.  "Ok, Sakki, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare." Said Sakki, hoping it would be to pack/fuck/have intercourse with Tasuki.

"You must eat…ONE OF THOSE PUDDINGS I BRING TO SCHOOL!" shouted Voldy, who started maniacally laughing.

"Not the chocolate pudding!" cried Sakki in fear/disappointment.

Suddenly, several bowls of chocolate pudding appeared.

"Ooh, food." Said SSJA.

Sakki is force fed pudding by Voldy and SSJA.

"Gwahh!" said Sakki.

2 hours later, Sakki was ready to vomit and there was pudding everywhere.

"Hey, Sakki, you can dare someone now." Said Voldy.

"I'm gonna hurl." Said SSJA.

"Tasuki, Truth or Dare?" asked Sakki.

"Dare." Said Tasuki.

"Oh shit." Said SSJA.

"I dare you to pack…"

"No…" said SSJA.

"A suitcase, pretending to go on a trip, except you must get this elephant--*elephant appears*--in the bag."

"Do you mean--?" asked SSJA.

"No." said Sakki.

"Oh." Said SSJA.  "Thank God!"

**SSJA writes**

Tasuki looked very confused.  "How the fuck am I supposed to get the damn elephant in the damn bag?"

"Don't ask me!  It was *HER* idea!" Sakki glared at Voldy, because, knowing Sakki, she would injure Voldy for wasting her dare.

"Fight!  Fight!  Fight!" cheered 'Yui'/SSJA.  "Fiiiight!"

"Be quiet, bloodthirsty child!" Voldy said.

"Fight!" insisted 'Yui' who just forgot any ideas she might have had a minute ago.  ["Oh…I remember now…"]

While the room was temporarily thrown into chaos by a sleepwalking Chiriko, the 3 authors discussed a plot.

"Can't we do more stuff with shoulder conscience-y things?" Voldy asked.

Sakki glared at Voldy.  "I could be packing Tasuki right now…"

"No." 'Yui' said.  "We need something weird, hilarious…um…more weird and more hilarious!"

["…I don't trust either of you with the paper!"—Me, lunchtime.]

So, the three authors began talking about—whatever…

"Hmm…" 'Yui' said loudly so everyone could hear.  "Maybe I should pack Suboshi!"

****

**"WHAT?!"**

"Just kidding!" 'Yui' exclaimed, now on the floor in hysterical laughter bordering on "passed out from lack of oxygen".  

The 'oh-my-god-the-world-is-gonna-end' looks disappeared from Sakki's and Voldy's faces, while Suboshi looked extremely disappointed.

"Ahaha!  The looks on your faces!!" 'Yui' kept laughing.  "Ahahahahaha!!"

She passed out from lack of oxygen due to laughing and her face went from bright red back to normal.

[Damn!  That was funny!  Oh!  You all fell for it, didn't you?  Who's the comedian?  Yeah!  No one can stop the comedy!  MWAHAHAHA!]

AND DID YOU KNOW?  SAKKI'S REALTED TO…NAKAGO! 

Hee hee hee!  *Runs in fear of Sakki, Nakago and blue chi blasts*

Nakago stared at Sakki.

"Evidence!" cried out the Miko impersonator (who was now awake), presenting her list.

1. She has a mind obsessed with 'packing'.

2. She likes to torture people (in fanfics).

3. She gets people to do stuff for her (in art class).

4. She has parents who are related to Nakago/other Seiryu seishi.

5. She's violent.

6. She isn't nice to people, even if they're her friends.

7. She denies the evidence in #6.

8. She has a grudge against Tamahome—even though that's not a bad thing!

9. She likes really likes THOROUGHLY ENJOYS torturing people with songs.

10. She tries to kill people!

11. She talks about Disney movies—only the violent parts where people are stabbed, etc.

12. Her sister has blue eyes!

13. She tries to kill her sister's boyfriend.  (Like Nakago tried to kill Tamahome.)

14. Thoroughly enjoys "packing".

15. She enjoys throwing people around.

16. She has a (fake) sword!

17. Threatens to kill people at least once twice A LOT OF TIMES during the day.

18. She could end up killing her friends!

19. But she doesn't and tells them to be happy that she doesn't!  (As she said, denying #6, "I'm nice.  I don't kill you.")

20. She holds grudges against her friends!  (The Suboshi scene…all because you were Miaka for a short while…JUST SO YOU COULD 'PACK' TASUKI?!  Very nice of you.)

Some characters backed a few steps away from Sakki, who glared at them.

"Who am I?" Voldy asked.

"No fair, I wanna be the Seiryu no Miko!  It sounds fun!" 'Yui' complained, receiving strange looks.

"You are the Miko, Yui." Reminded Sakki.

"Oops." Said SSJA.

"Who am I?!" Voldy asked again and again.  "ARGH!  ANSWER ME!"

Suboshi was sitting in a corner, sulking, and wondering if "his Yui-sama was mentally OK."

(Of course I am…NOT!  The day I'm mentally OK is the day…uh…I don't wanna say anything stupid like "That's the day I pack Suboshi!" because if I ever have a normal day, Sakki is going to remember that and start talking about it the whole day…So "The day I'm mentally OK is the day that something is wrong with the world!"  Happy now?  Good.  Microsoft Word just called that a long sentence, and suggested I fix it.  Stupid Paperclip guy…stupid grammar…BACK TO THE FIC!)

"HELLO!" Voldy yelled.  "WHO AM I LIKE?!  ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER ME OR NOT?!"

"Is she…OK?" Mitsukake asked 'Yui'.  "Is that a disease?"

"I don't think it's a disease…Voldy's always like that."

"Ah."

And so…I decide to END CHAPTER ONE!  *GASP*  Yep…now we don't have to carry around those papers in school—we can carry NEW papers!  Writing in school is fun!  ^_^

Explanation of inside jokes:

Pack: One day, Sakki was kind enough to inform SSJA and Voldy that "Pack that sheet!" said with an accent sounds like "Fuck that shit!"  Enough said there.

Voldy's Pudding: Voldy is known for bringing strange lunches to school and Sakki is known for trying to eat some of it.  As Voldy put at lunch one day… "[Sakki] Watch my stuff…[SSJA] Make sure she doesn't try to eat any of my lunch!"  Hehehe.

Sakki is related to Nakago: During art, Sakki asks if SSJA makes fun of her for being stupid.  SSJA is confused.  Sakki says her mom said that she probably does.  "Did you ever consider the fact that your mom is related to Nakago?"  And so, if her mom is related to Nakago, Sakki must be, too.  SSJA began compiling a list of evidence and the above mentioned list is what was the result.

Any seemingly random comments that are said during any of our fics are not just completely random.  We usually talk WAY too much during lunch, and that stuff ends up finding some way into our fics.  ^_^  I like writing notes for the readers!  Hope you enjoyed this chapter of…FUSHIGI YUUGI TRUTH OR DARE!  Review please!

  
                


	2. Ch2! Madness continues...

Hey, it's SSJA!  Look at that, I just made a stupid rhyme.  Anyhow, that stands for SSJ Arcanine.  Super Saiya-jin Arcanine.  But spelling it out takes a while, so SSJA is much easier!  Well, it's been a while since I typed the fic and since we're on spring break now…  Drumroll, please!  *DRUMROLL*  (Thank you.)  As I was saying, now I'm typing the rest of the fic!  PRESENTING…THAT WEIRD FIC WE STARTED WRITING RIGHT BEFORE A STANDARDIZED TEST!!  Oh yes, and thanks to huffpuff for the ONLY review…*mock-tragic sigh*  

Fushigi Yuugi Truth Or Dare! Fanfiction Wars! 

**Multi-Author Insanity!**

**Chapter 2: The Rest Of Part One!**

****

****

(Voldy writes)

"Now for a change of scenery!" cried Voldy.

A dungeon background rolled in on wheels.

"Great pun," said SSJA sarcastically.

"Thank you." Said Voldy.

"Let's torture people!" said Voldy.

"Well, we don't have anything better to do!" said SSJA.

A cheer of joy emerged from several people, including Mitsukake's cat, which everyone then stared at.

"We'll have to take the stairs no da!" said Chichiri, find the elevator, created magically, was out of order.

Our heroes and/or villains continued to the dungeon.  

"Hey, Voldy, we'll need some assholes to torture." Said Sakki. 

Suddenly, 4 bastards from their school appeared.

"Sorry, I could only get bastards, not assholes from school." Said Voldy.

"That's OK!  ^_^" said SSJA.

Voldy smiled a thin lipped smile, and her eyes got an evil shiney look to them.

"Vengeance (which both me and Voldy spelled wrong in the fic… --SSJA) is your friend." Said Voldy.

"Stop acting so goddamn ominous." Said either SSJA or Tasuki.

The assholes/bastards were strapped to the torture rack.

(SSJA writes)

SSJA rolled her eyes.  "This is boring!  It's just Voldy-fun!  Can we do something funny?  Or…oh…whatever…"

"I call thee 'Depression Corner'!" 'Yui' said in mock-enthusiasm, and sat down, sulking, next to Suboshi—also sulking.  "Anybody else think that this fic is going nowhere fast?"

She held up a plane ticket that said:

Fanfiction

Destination: Nowhere

Speed: Fast, or No, we're not on it.

Everyone groaned at the bad joke.  Sakki went over to 'Depression Corner' because she wasn't packing Tasuki.  [This is where the insane part begins, and I started to write all over the page…]

[Hmm…If lightning never strikes in the same place twice, what about inspiration? … …  My teacher just said something about 'energy transfer' in science.  … …  I'm tired and I want my books!]  *Weird arrow pointing to a sentence somewhere else on the page*  Sakki's going to laugh now…because one type of energy transfer is conduction—direct contact.  

[Actually, I'm ranting about how evil Sakki is because of what she wrote in "Mysterious Crisis…" which is henceforth called The Part With The Wall.  Yes, I gave it a stupid name with capital letters and whatever.]

"OH TASUKI!" said Sakki.

"No!  Don't go!  I'm bored and I'm stuck sitting in a corner!" SSJA complained.

Sakki walked off with Tasuki.

"I hate you…"  (But for some stupid reason, I forgot to add in 'SSJA muttered under her breath' and Sakki thought that _she said that.  Which led to—well—the next part of the fic.)_

**Sakki writes**

"…So much that I'm going to fuck Nakago and Suboshi simultaneously just to SPITE YOU!  (Insert inappropriate sentence here, that should **really only be mentioned in health class…)!"**

SSJA fell to the floor totally green and said, "I think I'm gonna have a seizure…"

**SSJA writes**

"I think she's dead…" Voldy remarked.  "I get her stuff!"

While Sakki and Voldy argued about who got what, Suboshi peered down at the unconscious 'Yui'.

"Yui-sama?"

"No, _I get her laptop!" Sakki argued._

"I do!" Voldy argued.

"Ugh…hentai…" the unconscious 'Yui' muttered.

"Yui-sama's alive!"

"Damn…" muttered Sakki, the murderer who is related to Nakago.

"Damn hentai Sakki!" exclaimed SSJA after recovering.  "Is there anything to eat here?  I want to eat something before I injure her…"

SSJA got up and started to go look for the kitchen.  "Wait a sec…I don't trust Sakki!  Come on Suboshi, must find kitchen!"

[This was before lunch, and I was really hungry…Speaking of that blessed, wonderful time of the school day, that was when we talked a lot and Voldy decided to write this somewhat entertaining yet sickening scene of doom.  I'm censoring it and you can't stop me!  *Sticks tongue out at Voldy and Sakki*  Me no like hentai.]

**VOLDY**

"Hey, Nakago, do you want to pack?" asked Sakki.

"Umm…" said Nakago.

"Good.  I'll meet you in the bathroom in 10 minutes." Said Sakki.

Nakago hobbled off to the bathroom.  Sakki ran over to Suboshi and asked, "Do you wanna pack?"

"What the heeeell—" said Suboshi as Sakki dragged Suboshi into the bathroom.  

On the way, she stopped to grab 'Yui'.  Voldy chuckled and decided not to make a comment because then it would happen.  [Arcanine's note: What, like "have fun"?  Because I'm damn glad you didn't say that…]

In the bathroom, we find 'Yui' trying to break down the door while a nude Suboshi is attempting to take her clothing off her.  "AAAH!  Save me!" screamed 'Yui'.  Voldy wondered how Tasuki felt about this.  

"Yui-sama, are you trying to evade me?" asked Suboshi.  [Arcanine's note: Well, to put it nicely…YES!]

Sakki and Nakago are in a Jacuzzi and Voldy is writing what is going on between the two of them.  Arcanine, however, has recently reacquired her hentai-phobia and is NOT about to scar herself/the readers for life by typing this.  It's NOT a pretty sight.  *Once more, sticks tongue out at Voldy and Sakki*  

"I'm gonna hurl!" said 'Yui' just as Voldy opened the door so she may (??  I can't read Voldy's handwriting!) get out just before Suboshi could reach for her undergarments.  [Arcanine's note: *Lets out breath she was holding*  I'm saved!]

(Sakki and Nakago do bad things.)

'Yui' threw on her clothing and went to go cower in a corner where Suboshi could not find her.  Nakago and Sakki **continued to do things that are bad and shouldn't be talked about in fanfiction**.  

Voldy had been sharpening a dagger the whole time, this is completely irrelevant.  Sakki and Nakago had finally redressed, Nakago was never the same [does Voldy know what Nakago and Soi do quite frequently?], Sakki had a little variety, Suboshi was disappointed, 'Yui' was relieved and Voldy was impressed with what she could write.  [Which you will not see due to hentai-ness.]  Tasuki was jealous, and Chichiri was missing in action.

"Um…That wasn't really how I wanted space to be filled." Said SSJA.

"Tee hee." Said Voldy.

"That was interesting." Said Tasuki, glaring at Nakago.

"I'll make it up to you, Tasuki!" said Sakki.

"NOT AGAIN!" yelled SSJA, before anything could happen she locked all the doors and melted the keys with a candle.  "Oh shit, now I'm stuck in the same room as you guys!"

"Abso-fucking-lutely!" said Voldy.  "Quite literally."

**SSJA, relieved at not having to face Suboshi, finally gets to write something.  And yes, I was talking in third person again…**

"The only thing that will stop me from killing you, Voldy, is the fact that you 'saved' me." 'Yui' said with a glare.  "BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU DO SOMETHING SOONER?  WHY THE HELL WERE YOU SHARPENING YOUR GODDAMN DAGGER?!"

SSJA momentarily transformed back to her author self and went SSJ3, launching ki blasts at everything in sight.  Then she went back to 'normal' and began ranting senselessly about thinking she heard Sakki talk about kodoku at lunch.  

To temporarily prevent all hell from breaking loose, 'Yui' put on headphones and started singing 'Flying Away' from Gundam Wing.  It's stuck in my head!!  

"I'm sick of that song now…" 'Yui' muttered and threw the headphones across the room, which conveniently hit Voldy and Sakki on the heads in the process.

"And why is Chichiri missing in _action?  Hentai Voldy!"_

**Sakki wrote this while SSJA was absent for 4 days…This was _all that she wrote in four days!**_

Then Yohji jumped out of nowhere and latched onto…Sakki's chest!  "Aww…Come on baby…You did it with that guy why don't you do it with me?"  When you expected Sakki to say 'yes' the total opposite happened.  "HENTAI!" followed by a magnificent right uppercut.  

"Hentai?" SSJA said indignantly.  "You're the hentai!"  

"Oh…would you like someone to latch onto your chest?  But then yours isn't half as nice as mine!"

**SSJA writes**

SSJA began thinking just how odd Sakki was, and ran off to ask Chichiri if he could put up wards against the hentai stuff.  Sakki ran after, of course, because it's all just a conspiracy, isn't it?  Along the way, Voldy didn't have much time in the fic because nobody knows where she is.

**Voldy writes**

"I'm in the locked room with all of you!" said Voldy, stabbing a rat and watching as blood spewed everywhere and its intestines seeped out of a bloody gash on its underbelly.

"Ewww…" said someone.

"Hey, SSJA." Said Voldy.  "Remember that time when we heard that song and you said that Nakago—"

Noticing that Nakago was asleep and couldn't hear her, Voldy decided not to finish the sentence.

"So now what?" asked SSJA.

"Well, we're stuck in a big room with no food—" said Voldy.

"NO FOOD?!" asked SSJA.  "AHHHHHH!"

"Can't we use our author powers?" Asked Sakki.

"Or break down the door!" suggested Voldy.

Voldy searched the room for something to kill since she had an extremely high blood lust right now.  Sakki hadn't had her fill of hentai-ness for better or for worse.  This frightened SSJA.  

Voldy saw Mitsukake's cat and thought about slicing his head off but realized that SSJA wouldn't let her.  Voldy couldn't find anything so was about to gash a shrieking, nonexistent hamster, which was actually a salami sandwich SSJA had managed to find.  [Arcanine's note: I don't like salami, actually…]

"NOOO!  That's our only food!" cried SSJA, stopping Voldy from impaling the sandwich.

Right now everyone was extremely hungry even if they didn't like salami.

Sakki wondered if she would have to feed Tasuki.

SSJA wondered what that meant.

Voldy decided not to tell her.  [Arcanine says!  And SSJA was happy she didn't have to find out.]  

"Do we have a phone?" asked Voldy.

"We're in ancient China!" said Sakki.

"Then we can't order a pizza." Said a disappointed Voldy.  [Arcanine: Yes, we can!  Just look at Mysterious Crisis!]

Suddenly, a mob of smiling, really cute small children appeared.

"Aaaah!" cried Voldy.  "My evil nemesis!" 

"Boo!" said Voldy, and the small children scattered and screamed in fear.

Voldy laughed.

"You don't like small children no da!" said Chichiri.

Voldy suddenly thought of "3 Authors' Story Time!"

"Come on children, its SSJA, Sakki and Voldy's story time!" said Voldy, dragging her 2 friends over.  [Arcanine: With _friends like you guys, who needs enemies?]_

"YAY!" said the small children.

"Now Sakki will tell a story." Said Voldy, elbowing her.

"Um…Once upon a time there was a…um…" started Sakki.

"Pirate King!" cried out the small children.

"OK.  There was a pirate king and he had a ship and a lot of treasure and a loyal army.  But he was lonely." Said Sakki.  [Arcanine: You _know where this is going…]_

"That's so sad." Sobbed the small children.

"Then he found a bride and they made passionate love and fucked a lot.  The End." Said Sakki.

"What does that mean?" asked the small children.

"You're on your own!" said SSJA to Sakki.

"It's when *yes, Voldy actually wrote this in the notebook…*"

"Sounds like fun!" said the small children.

"It is." Said Sakki.

"My turn!" said SSJA.  [Yes, please!  Anything but Sakki's storytelling!]  "Did you hear the joke about the broken pencil?"

"No." said the small children.

"It had no point!" said SSJA and the children found this hysterical.  Voldy whispered a joke to SSJA.

"Did you hear about the bad revolution joke?" asked SSJA.  "It was revolting!"

The children laughed again.

"I wanna go!" said Voldy to SSJA.

"One more joke." Said SSJA.

"OK." Said Voldy.

"Did you hear the joke about the ocean?  It's over your head!" said SSJA.  The small children still found it funny.

Voldy started, "Once upon a time, Penny Jack Rabbit and Phillip Squirrel were going to a picnic.  Suddenly Phillip stepped on a hand grenade and they were blown apart into little pieces and their insides scattered across the countryside.  The end."

The children winced.

**SSJA writes and is sorry she didn't blow up the small children with a bomb.**

"Can we say 'scarred for life'?" asked SSJA, thinking back to Sakki's "story".

"Scarred for life!" chorused everybody.

'Yui' gave them all the finger, took out a phone, and ordered a pizza.

As Sakki told her to write, some guy from Weiss Kreuz started to sing—extremely off-key and was worse-sounding than SSJA on drugs.  Not that SSJA has been on drugs, or tried to sing while on drugs, either.  

"He's going to scare away the pizza!" SSJA exclaimed.

"Pizza delivery!" someone called out at the door.

SSJA was restrained by half of the characters in the room while Sakki and Voldy went to retrieve—

"MY WONDERFUL PIZZA!" yelled SSJA, eating about half the pie in one mouthful.

"So!" she said.  "When's lunch?"

Everyone facefaulted/fell to the floor.

_à__It was here that our beloved fic was stolen by one of greater evil than Voldy—SSJA and Sakki's social studies teacher!  Thankfully, SSJA only forgot to hand something in and was called in to the classroom while she and Sakki were in the library.  Nervous that it was about the fic, SSJA dragged Sakki along—where she promptly snatched the fic off the teacher's desk!  "YOU STOLE THE FIC?!"  "Yeah."  "O_O!"  Hehehe…it was kinda funny.  I'm happy, though.  We won't be sent away for mental help…yet.  On with the fic now!  ^_^_

This was written at 11:30 at night!

"Anybody got some sake?" asked Tasuki.

"Here ya go!" SSJA said, pulling out a bottle from—uh—somewhere with sake?

**Now, I'm only doing this for the sake of humor.  Yes, this is funny.  No, I don't like Suboshi…  ****ß****Read before continuing to read the fic.**

Yohji, who had joined what SSJA called 'sake-fest 2002!' was quite drunk.  He swayed around, trying to walk over to the first girl he saw.  Which was SSJA.

"I—uh—already have a boyfriend." 'Yui' exlaimed, running to hide behind Suboshi from the hentai psycho worse than Sakki.

"…" muttered Yohji, who was by now up to his 17th glass of sake.

Why hadn't he passed out?  A law of fanficion states that any anime character may get drunk at any time and not pass out until the end of the fic unless the author wants them to do so sooner.

"I'm going to pick up the developed pictures from this fic so I have control over the blackmail…" SSJA muttered.  Oh how glad I am that I have the original fic.

SSJA's eyes took on the Evil Glint™.  What evil thought(s) flashed through her head?  You know what?  I forgot!  "I'm tired…" muttered the fanfiction author who was writing at 11:45 PM.  "All you hentai people scare me, though."

Suddenly, Tokaki appeared!  Is there a reason?  Yes!  He has a cool name.  A very cool name no da!  Speaking of no da…

"Hey no da!" Chichiri exlaimed.  "Look what I found no da!  Some really hentai-ish tapes no da!"

Yep, SSJA very tired.  Delirious.  She grabbed Tasuki's fan.  "REKKA SHINEN!"

"On second thought, let's all watch a nice Disney movie no da…" said a fried Chichiri, holding up the ashes of his tapes.

Quite a few people in the room looked disappointed.

SSJA got Chichiri to put up wards around a bed so she could go to sleep.  

^_^  

(The next day, when I continue writing, Voldy comes over, and more madness ensues!)

SSJA was entertained by dreams of revenge against Sakki and Voldy.  Speaking of Voldy, she was entertaining herself by scaring the small children.

"Yaaaahhh!" yelled the small children, running in fear.

A crowd of characters were crowded around Nakago, trying to illegally buy illegal kodoku (diedu, if you read the translated manga) from him.  

"Calm down, you'll all get the drug eventually." Nakago said, and thought to himself: _This is going to be a very profitable enterprise.  _

Sakki was on the 'line' to get some kodoku for Tasuki.  (SSJA: *gag*)

[SSJA, by now, has woken up.]

**Voldy writes!**

Voldy withdrew a dagger and sliced off a small child's head.  There was a bloody stump and all the children screamed.  Voldy on the other hand was laughing maniacally.  By this time, the small child population had decreased 80%.  Voldy innocently whistled and a cheap plastic halo appeared.  When no one was looking, Voldy chucked the halo.  Sakki finally got some kodoku.

"TASUKI!" she yelled.

SSJA finally decided to

**SSJA writes, and is angry that Voldy has left the sentence for her to finish**

--throw a party!  But then she realized that there was already a party going on!  Once more, SSJA contemplated revenge on Sakki and Voldy.  

Voldy will now be in **bold, SSJA in regular because we switched off so frequently while she was over my house.  **

**Voldy wondered how she would get rid of the rest of the children.**

"Kill 'em with a bomb!" yelled 'Yui' and the children yelled in fear (again).

Voldy grabbed the nearest child and strangled them slowly, then ripped their arm out of the child's sockets.

"Oooh, that's gotta hurt!" SSJA said.  "But not as much pain as the two of you will be in when I find suitable revenge!  Mwahaha!"

Voldy turned to Sakki.  "Are you sure she's not on anything?"

"I'll be sure to throw a party back in Prolingmon when I have my army." Said Voldy.  [Arcanine's note: Read Nesia Xavier Voldermort's story whose title I completely forgot at the moment to find out just what the heck Prolingmon is.  That's Voldy's pen name on ff.net, by the way.]

"But what the fuck does that have to do with anything?" inquired SSJA.

**"I can kill you if I have to." Responded Voldy, smiling.**

"Oh Seiryu!" SSJA said 'dramatically'.  "How did I get stuck with evil and hentai friends like you two, who both want to kill/torture me…"

"The forces of evil have triumphed!" Voldy yelled.  "Hah hah!"

"And I do NOT want to play melee!" SSJA yelled in Voldy's face.  (Super Smash Bros. Melee.)

"I got to summon skeletons!" (Gauntlet Dark Legacy.)

"Shut up."

**Voldy notices only 10 small children left to haplessly murder.**

"Please do something other than torture small children.  It's amusing and all, but gets kinda annoying with all the screaming." SSJA told Voldy, throwing a shoe at her head.

**Voldy stabbed SSJA in the back and was dragged off to prison.**

"Owie…" SSJA muttered.  "That's not nice…"

"YUI-SAMA!"  (Guess who?)

"Ow!  I'm going to kill Voldy's when she's out of prison." SSJA muttered.

(Poof, Voldy is back.)

"YOU STABBED YUI-SAMA!" yelled Suboshi.

[In 'reality', SSJA talks to huffpuff and Voldy pesters her to play Super Smash Bros. Melee.  SSJA keeps protesting, and Voldy decides to threaten her.  This is the result…]

**Sakki and Tasuki were trying to educate the children.  Voldy's brain shut off and stayed off for a few hours.  **

**Suddenly, Suboshi yelled, "Please, Yui-sama, pack me."**

**SSJA found light bulb remains and used them on Suboshi.  
            Voldy was about to attempt to erase herself with a pencil eraser when she thought to blackmail SSJA.  [Into playing Super Smash Bros. Melee.]**

**Suboshi gained consciousness and dragged 'Yui' to the corner of the room and gave her a pack of Mentos.**

**"Fooled you!" yelled Voldy.**

"Much better!" exclaimed 'Yui' after eating a Mento.  "I'm still angry at Voldy, though."

The Mento acted like a senzu bean (DBZ!!) and healed the 'bloody gash' on her back.  (Big words are fun, you know!)

"What bloody gash?" asked Voldy.

SSJA pointed to a paragraph on the last page.  (Well, it was the last page when we were writing it on paper.)  "Oh." Said Voldy.  "_That bloody gash…"_

**"Let's kill the children now!" said Voldy.**

"VOL-DY!" complained SSJA, raising another shoe as if to throw it at her friend/enemy's head.  "Let's do something else! Maybe the small children can get BBQ'd later!  Mmm…"**  Voldy pulled out a grill.**

**"I'm not hungry." Said SSJA.  "Anyway, they'll get cold."  **

**Voldy put the children in a cage and prodded them with sharp objects.**

**"Hey, that's cannibalism!  Feed 'em to the dogs!" cried SSJA.**

Voldy decided to leave the room to find more evil supplies to use to torture the little children.  For a strange reason…

"Hey, Voldy!  Quit bitch-slapping the door!" SSJA yelled, laughing.

(Previously, when we were playing Gauntlet Dark Legacy, Voldy's character was the Sorceress and she was trying to knock down a door.  Her character began frantically SLAPPING the door and broke it down.  It was…weird.)

Voldy responded by kicking the door down violently to feed the children to the dogs.  And of course, she made sure to evilly lock SSJA in when she closed it.

**"Ha ha ha.  Feast, dogs, feast!  Feel the fresh blood of your kill flowing through your teeth!  The joy of hapless killing!" yelled Voldy.**

"Voldy's sure having fun, fun, fun…" SSJA said.  "Very bloodthirsty she is…"

Some other people were also having fun.

**"Sakki…"**

**"Tasuki…"**

**"What?"**

**"We need to get more condoms, only 2 left!"**

**SSJA hurled.**

(Voldy left after she wrote that, leaving me with the story for the rest of the spring break.  *Evil laugh*  And now…madness continues to ensue!)

"Yep, thanks.  Just HAD to know the details.  Details are evil.  I don't like them very much.  Nope.  Dude is a word, dude is a word!  Details are annoying, and dude is a word!  You don't like my song?  Go to hell!  MWAHAHA!!  Did you know that dude rhymes with food, and I like food, especially M&Ms!  They taste really good!  And Mentos!" 'Yui' said.

"Did anyone understand her no da?" asked Chichiri.

"Uh huh." Said Suboshi.  "Something about details, the word dude, sending people to hell and M&Ms and Mentos, which both taste good."

"I suppose now you think you're so smart no da!" Chichiri retorted.

"I will now serenade you all on my wonderful flute!" Amiboshi said loudly.

"Aniki must have had some of that sake." Suboshi said.

"Shut up." Amiboshi told anyone who was trying to talk.

Voldy walked up to a nearby seishi—Tamahome—and pointed at SSJA.  "I'm blackmailing her to play video games!"

"Not yet!" retorted 'Yui'.

"Keyword…yet!" Voldy exclaimed.

Sakki was feeling left out of the conversations but SSJA decided to let her stay with Tasuki so she'd shut up.

"Well!  We're surely seeing the elephant now!" exclaimed some weird guy from the Oregon Trail (computer game).

Yes.  Someone ACTUALLY says that in the game.  o_O  Weird, ain't it?

To make things stranger, the elephant Tasuki was supposed to pack into the suitcase ran through the room and trampled some people in the process.

END OF CHAPTER ONE!  Review it, please!  ^_^  Chapter 3 will be an "interesting" summary of who is doing what at the moment.  Coming up next—jokes with kodoku and sugar water, and the game continues!  And possibly more jokes, with or without kodoku and sugar water!  Yes, we are normally this weird, and it's damn fun!  So, are you going to review…?  :)  


	3. Kodoku jokes and more!

And I don't feel like typing up the 'summary' of who is doing what at the moment even though I said I would in the last chapter, because I just wanna get to writing the good parts!!  ^_^  Or the stupid, weird and downright hilarious "INFAMOUS KODOKU SCENE!"  *Insert spooky music*  Ehehe…This is what happens to a fanfiction author when separated from her friends over spring break.  Well, I did talk to Voldy on the phone the night I wrote some of this because I needed ideas.  But, whatever!!!  I'll shut up and you can all read, yes?  

Introducing… 

**Part 2 of "Fushigi Yuugi Truth or Dare/Fanfiction Wars/Multi-Author Insanity!**

**In Which We Have Bad Jokes and Torture!?!**

****

****

          "Welcome to part 2!" announced a hyper SSJA.  "On with the fic!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(SSJA writing!)

          "Can I buy some o' that?" SSJA asked, gesturing to Nakago's supply of kodoku.

          After her purchase, Voldy calmly asked her why the hell she would buy an extremely large quantity of kodoku.

          "Isn't it obvious?" the false Yui asked her friend.  "To keep it away from Suboshi!"

          "Oh." Said Voldy, feeling smarter.

          "Oooh, a camera…" SSJA said, picking up a camera from a table—both of which had appeared due to a PLOT HOLE™!  "Can anyone say 'blackmail'?" (and she proceeded to laugh evilly.)

          "Blackmail!" chorused everyone, running to grab the camera from SSJA.

          "Give me that!" Sakki yelled, because she was related to Nakago and wanted to annoy her friend with a blackmail tape.

[Insert inane ramblings of an author named Arcanine…]

[End inane ramblings…for now!]

          SSJA began filming everything in sight.  "Must…find…suitable…blackmail…" she was muttering.  "We should probably continue the game."

          And so, she announced loudly, "WE ARE CONTINUING THE GAME!  YOU WILL SUFFER SOME HORRIBLE TORTURE IF YOU DON'T STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND PLAY!"

          "Yes, this means that all 'packing' must stop temporarily." SSJA added, hoping that saying 'temporarily' would free her from the wrath of Sakki.

          _Inane ramblings: I mean, really!  I said 'You can't dare Tasuki to pack you when it's your turn." And she flips out!  And it nearly leads to a scene that I would **not like to read…I think I'll just shut up now.  The bad thing about vacation is…YOU CAN'T PASS THE STORY!  At the end of this fic, I'm going to probably have my revenge.  I MUST PLAN MY REVENGE!  MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA—um, you know what?  I think I'll just go to bed now…  End of inane ramblings.  [Yes, I wrote this in the fic.  My other inane rambling was about something that only Voldy and Sakki would understand, so I didn't feel like typing it.]**_

          "Oh, and did I mention…" 'Yui' added with a smile.  "You can't repeat dares.  This means no more kissing Nakago for Tamahome, no more daring Suboshi to—well, you get the point already, don't you?"

          (Tamahome sighed in relief that he wouldn't experience the horror of kissing Nakago again.  ICK!  It must have been scary!!)

          "Other people can dare you to 'pack' somebody, or dare somebody to 'pack' you, but you can't dare someone to pack you." SSJA explained.  "Yeah, sure!  That made a lot of sense…"  (SARCASM.)  

[Yeah!  If that made sense, I want a cookie, or at least some M&Ms…]__

           (Nakago was handing out the last of his kodoku supply to anyone who wanted some.)

          *The Evil Glint™ appears in The Kwaa's eyes!  (Kwaa is just another one of my strange nicknames…Long story…)  Yes, this time I remember what I'm thinking of…but I'm not tellin'!*

è Really crappy original sceneç

è Which has now been replaced with a well-written and hilarious scene!ç

è I now present to you…THE INFAMOUS SCENE!!ç

          "But Yui-sama!" protested Suboshi, as Sakki identified potential packing targets.

          'Yui' took Suboshi aside and whispered something to him.  He ran out of the room and returned a few moments later with drinks for all of the authors/seishi.  

          "Sugar water?!" exclaimed SSJA happily, looking into her cup, which had clear liquid and small, floating particles.  "YES!"

          SSJA gulped down the drink.  "Uhhh…too much sugar…I'm getting dizzy…"

          "And little did she now that the water was ACTUALLY filled with KODOKU!" Sakki said, laughing because she's evil and related to Nakago.

          Voldy picked up the camera to make a blackmail tape.

          [Arcanine: *Does an "Oh-my-God-I-just-did-something-so-stupid" laugh*  Oh my God!  This line is soooo stupid!  I couldn't resist putting it in, but it's stupid!  *Helplessly rolling on the floor, laughing*]

          "Yui-sama?  Are you OK?  Maybe you need to lie down.  In a bed." Suboshi suggested.  "With me."

          Not quite yet on a sugar high, 'Yui' went into the bedroom with Suboshi.

          "??!??" thought Sakki and Voldy.

          Weird phrases came floating out of the room.  [Arcanine: *snicker*  This part's funny.]

          "Hey, watch it!"

          "Take THAT!"

          "One more time?"

          "OK!"

          Unable to take it any longer, Sakki and Voldy broke the door down to reveal SSJA and Suboshi sitting, fully clothed, on the bed playing Super Smash Bros. Melee.

          "I win again!" 'Yui' cheered.

          "Yui-sama, one more time?" Suboshi asked.

          "Uh—April Fools!" SSJA informed her friends.  "That really was sugar water.  Back to the game…"

          "Hai!" agreed Suboshi.

~~End Infamous Kodoku Joke Scene of Doom that I wrote on April First as a joke~~

More inane rambling: _Hah!  Got you there!  Those 'inappropriate' phrases are also yelled during games that involve fighting!  MWAHAHA!  That was the best scene!  ^_^  (End inane rambling.)_

          "Got you guys again!  Hey, look!  Gullible is written on the ceiling!" 'Yui' said.

          Half of the people in the room looked up.

          "Hahahaha!" SSJA laughed.  "I only wish we were at school today so I could play more jokes on you guys!"

          Voldy and Sakki got slightly annoyed, and poor Suboshi was disappointed again.

          4/2/02: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOTOHORI!!

          [4/3/02: SSJA decides to write more than just saying "Happy Birthday Hotohori!"]

          And finally, the game would resume.

          "Well?" SSJA asked.  "Who wants to go first?"

          (Miboshi was muttering to himself about "getting revenge on huffpuff for mocking his bladder and small anatomy.  Bullshit, I just have a small nose!")  Hehehe…hey, look!  You got mentioned again!  

          Sakki was jumping up and down, waving her hands in the air and waiting to be picked.  (Like the donkey in Shrek!)

          "I know who should go!" Voldy said.  "Sa—"

          "Be quiet, Voldy!" SSJA said.  "You know she's just going to write something hentai!"

          "That's why I was gonna say it." Voldy smiled evilly and turned to Sakki.  "What should we make her do now?"

          "Well," Sakki said.  "First…"

          SSJA contemplated putting in earplugs to protect her mind from the hentai horrors, but then decided to just…

          "While they talk, will somebody else _please go?" SSJA asked._

~~

**WE INTERRUPT THIS FIC TO BRING YOU THIS "SPECIAL" ANNOUNCEMENT!**

**VOLDY HAS GIVEN UP HAPLESS KILLING!  (AFTER THE SMALL CHILDREN INCIDENT, OF COURSE.  WE CAN ASSURE YOU THEY HAVE ALL BEEN DISPOSED OF…FOREVER!)**

**THANK YOU.  WE NOW RESUME THE FIC.**

~~

(At this point, I was talking on the phone with Voldy and writing down what we both came up with.  See, I'm giving Voldy credit for stuff she made up.  ANYWAY!!) 

          With a puff of puke-green smoke, a wizard-guy appeared.  

          "Hah.  Hah." He said monotonously and everyone sweatdropped.

          "I will now curse this fanfiction!" he exlaimed.

          "Shit?" SSJA asked.

          "Fuck?" Tasuki asked.

          "Damn?" Sakki asked.

          "Tiddlywinkies?" Voldy asked darkly.

          "No." the wizard answered.  "I am…Ingobobovinana!!  And I will evilly curse your fanfiction!!"

          [Arcanine's Stupid Note: The name _MUST be said syllable by syllable because it sounds funny!  Voldy was the one who decided to use that name, by the way.]_

          "I'm the only evil magician character in this fanfiction, thank you very much!" Voldy retorted.

          "Actually, Voldy…" SSJA said.  "You're one of the authors."

          "Shut up." Voldy told her friend. 

          With a few evil magic words (that Voldy understood and looked worried about, for a change) there was a loud noise.

          "POOF!"

          "AHHH!  A LOUD POOF!" SSJA yelled, and jumped into the air, nearly smacking her head on the ceiling of the room.

          "Now you are all cursed to pick 'dare'!" the wizard yelled.  "And for everyone else to pick the worst possible thing that could happen to you!  And you must do it!"

          "No wonder Voldy looked worried." Someone said.  (Right Voldy?  SOMEONE!)

          SSJA almost ran to the corner of the room and yelled—um—something.  

          "Suboshi seemed somewhat pleased." Voldy commented.

          [Arcanine: VOLDY COMMENTED!  Hehehe…I don't know WHY but it just sounds funny…]

          **THE  ONLY REASON THIS IS HAPPENING IS SO I CAN HAVE MY REVENGE!!**

          "SSJA, you're making me proud." Voldy said.  (Because I'm learning the art of revenge.  ^_^)

          Everyone got into an argument over who would be dared/tortured first.  

          "Shut up!" yelled Voldy.  "Or I'll kill you!"  ßVoldy would like to say that this is not hapless killing because it's killing with a purpose.

          Everyone suddenly shut up because Voldy probably meant it after the small children incident.

          "Maybe I should make SSJA think…" Voldy said aloud.

          "That's not quite torture." SSJA said, clapping her hands to her mouth.  "Oops."

          "That depends on what I'm making you think ABOUT!" Voldy retorted.

          "That's not nice…" SSJA replied.

          Out of ideas, Voldy decided NOT to torture SSJA.  [Arcanine: It was also because I was talking to Voldy on the phone for too long and our parents made us hang up.  Hehehe.  No, really.  We don't shut up.  Ever!  MWAHAHAHAHA!!  I'm OK.  I think.] 

          "MWAHAHAH!" exclaimed 'Yui'.  "Payback for…

1. The Scene With The Wall (in Mysterious Crisis!  Please read it??)

2. Nakago's "Dare" to Chichiri because that freaked me out. 

3. Your Dare To Suboshi

4. Suggesting I have a part with The Scene With The Bathroom (even though Voldy wrote the actual scene).

5. Any of the numerous times you've said something hentai for the sole purpose of freaking me out.

6. Any time you've said hentai things for any reason.

7. The thing with the windowsill.  [_Readers: I wrote some fic that I never typed about the Seiryu seishi annoying the Suzaku seishi.  And it had a stupid scene where I pop in as "Yui" at night and videotape__ Nakago asleep with a bright pink teddy bear or something.  But when Sakki saw that it was at night and Suboshi was there and stuff…*Shudder*  So, one more thing to add to my "List of Reasons to Get Revenge on Sakki".]_

8. There probably is a number 8 but I can't think of it now.  

Sakki laughed because (1) it had taken SSJA this long to come up with revenge and (2) she didn't think SSJA could come up with 'good' revenge/a 'good' dare/'good' torture.  Shows what she knows!  OK, this _is a little odd, but this would NOT be a good thing for Sakki, I'm guessing._

"I dare you, Sakki, to take Tasuki to…" SSJA decreed.  "Meet your parents!  And he must stay the night without any packing the whole time!  No packing AT ALL!  MWAHAHA!"

Sakki glared at SSJA when she said 'without any packing' and looked about ready to kill her.

"You HAVE to!  That weird evil wizard-guy said so!" SSJA said, sticking her tongue out at Sakki.  "And we'll all be watching on a TV right here."

(A TV appeared, and al the seishi stared at it in wonder, as Voldy explained the 'mysterious new THING'.)

"Sayonara!" SSJA told her 'friend' who by now was ready to commit a murder.  "Have fun!  Oh wait, you CAN'T!"

(SSJA likes to write late at night and get REVENGE…)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"This is Tasuki." Sakki informed her parents.

"Nice ta meet ya!" Tasuki said, showing off his fangs.

SSJA will not go into much detail 'cause she doesn't know Sakki's parents or anything about Sakki's house.  Hehehe.  Um, so I'm only going to write some random scenes.  Yeah.  Keep reading!

Back in the room (of doom), Voldy and SSJA laughed when Tasuki offered to help cook.

"REKKA SHINEN!" 

"YOU BURNT THE FOOD!" yelled Sakki's mom, chasing him around the house.

"Oh, great…" mumbled Sakki.

~`~`~`~`

"So, Tasuki, what do you do?" asked Sakki's dad.

"Well, first, I used ta be the boss of a buncha bandits, but then I let Kouji have the position when I went ta help the Suzaku no Miko…" Tasuki explained.

~`~`~`~`

"No packing Tasuki…no packing Tasuki…no packing Tasuki…" Sakki was repeating to herself over and over as she tried to go to sleep.

Tasuki was in the next room, passed out because he sneaked in some sake.

"Must—not—pack—Tasuki!" Sakki nearly yelled.

~`~`~`~`

"You think we should hit her over the head so she'll fall asleep, or do we want to watch her panic?" SSJA asked Voldy.

The answer was obvious, because Sakki was still repeating "No packing Tasuki" to herself two hours later, while staring at the closed door of her room.

Tasuki woke up and looked around.  "Where's Sakki?  Oh yeah, no packing!  Aw, fuck!  Or not."

(Get it?  No fuck.  Heheh.  Bad jokes.)

A short while later, Sakki fell asleep and almost sleepwalked to Tasuki.  In her sleep, she kept muttering "Tasuki…".

That annoying bird that lives outside SSJA's window that wouldn't let her go to sleep the day/night/whatever she had insomnia began chirping bright and early.  _[Arcanine's note: Yeah!  The damn bird was chirping at like 6 AM!  I was trying to get a few hours of sleep in the morning, but NO!  The damn thing didn't shut up.  And then, when I started yelling at it, my mom came in and yelled at me for waking her up.  Hehehe.  "Stupid bird…It's all your fault…"]_

"MORNING!" yelled Sakki in a psycho-ish way, and she used Author Powers to transport herself and Tasuki back to the place where everyone was.  Of course, everyone was asleep, so Sakki took Tasuki into a bedroom.

"I don't wanna wake up!" SSJA complained, putting in earplugs so she didn't have to hear Sakki and Tasuki.  "When will they stop?"

"They've been at it for…" Voldy said, holding up a stopwatch.  "Uh…it's broken!  I don't know."

"Wake me when they're done…" muttered SSJA to Voldy/the seishi in the room.

They eventually DID finish, and everyone…ate!  Yum!  Food!  No, there was NO kodoku in any of it.  

"But now I can 'dare'/torture someone!" Sakki exclaimed, and did a scary evil laugh that would haunt everyone in their nightmares.  "The worst possible thing that could happen to them?  Hehehe!"

Amiboshi and Suboshi began fighting over the last Eggo waffle.  

"Aniki!" Suboshi whined.  "Leggo my Eggo!"

"NEVER!"

(And so on, and so forth, and all was futile and meaningless and so on, as the twins continued to bicker over the waffle which was lost in the end because Soi stole it while singing "Koori-tachi no PURAIDO/Pride of Ice".)  That line was not in the fic.  It's 11:15 at night so I'm tired and I feel like adding it in!

"Ahhh!" 'Yui' exclaimed, thinking Sakki would be after her, and trying to hide under the table.

"I pick…" Sakki said evilly.

But who does Sakki pick?  I don't know!  We go back to school on Monday, so we'll write more!  Lots more, I promise!  But now the fic is all typed.  I hope you like it so far?  ^_^  Review it please??


	4. I'd Think Up A Title But I'm Being Tortu...

The Usual Pre-Fic Note: Be prepared for a weird chapter! My friends decide to torture me. Oh joy. Note the sarcasm. There _are_ a few funny scenes, which were mostly written by ME. Because I'm funny and they just write hentai… *sigh* Enough of my 'tragic tale'…you'll see for yourselves. I won't even bother to say who's writing what anymore. 

****

The Fourth Chapter

I'd Give It A Title But I'm Too Grossed Out At The Moment

"Uh…I have no idea…Let's have a packing spree!" Sakki said.

SSJA facefaulted and gave a sigh of relief. No, wait. Scratch that. It just meant that Sakki would probably write something hentai at lunch and make me lose my lunch. 

"You want to have a packing spree?!" demanded SSJA. "Didn't you just finish up with Tasuki?"

"Uh…yeah." Sakki said.

I'm bored beyond boredom! Help meee! Boredom!!

SSJA walked around aimlessly because she was bored. "Blah blah blah…"

Soi walked over to Tomo. "Your seishi power stinks and you're a smelly asshole!" 

Hehe… And the 2 began fighting to the death, but that's for another fanfic. Gaaah! No ideas! 

"Hey, Yui-sama, do you want any more sugar water?" Suboshi asked 'innocently'.

"No." she replied.

"Damn it…" he muttered.

"I wanna pack!!!" Sakki wailed. "Oh! Yeah! *Insert ranting that SSJA doesn't understand about some fic she's reading*!"

"Yeah, whatever. Your turn to dare someone." SSJA said.

"OK…Suboshi go pack Soi…And Soi don't back out since you were seducing the little boys at the camp with Tessou…" Sakki said. (**THE BASARA! Ryuusei Den!** ^_^)

"Him?!" Soi asked, slightly disgusted that it was Suboshi instead of Nakago.

"Soi?!" asked Suboshi in horror, certain that his dare would have been to do one of a number of things to 'Yui'.

Plus the fact that him and many other people were scared of Soi. *Arcanine runs away before Soi can hit her with lightning*

"I have an idea…" 'Yui' said, and whispered to the two victims who looked happier afterwards.

"What did you tell them?!" Sakki asked, her eyes narrowing as she glared at 'Yui'.

"Can't tell ya!" SSJA said cheerfully, and handed out earplugs after putting some in herself.

When they returned, Voldy announced, "I wanna dare Nakago!" 

"I dare you to live with small children for a week!"

Everyone gasped in horror and shock. Then they cheered and shoved Nakago out the door. Voldy followed to set up the proper evil spells that would prevent Nakago from killing the children. Hehehehe… 

"Now that you can't do anything about it," SSJA told Sakki. "I just told them to make it sound like they were 'packing', but not to actually do it."

"What?! You ruined it!" Sakki yelled angrily.

"That was the point." SSJA responded. "My revenge will be messing stuff up…"

"Which means I can mess up MORE things!" Sakki retorted.

"I won't give you the website with Genrou Den on it!" SSJA said.

"Back!" Voldy exclaimed, turning on the TV (yes, the one and only TV in ancient China!), and watching Nakago get attacked by the small children.

"Daddy Nakky, tell us a story!"

"Ok…How about one about Tenkou?" (At least it's not one about the Kuto Emperor!!)

SSJA got bored and went to sleep.

The small children became frightened by "Daddy Nakky's" story about Tenkou.

Voldy laughed.

Sakki looked for Tasuki.

Amiboshi was in a corner of the room, playing his flute.

"Shut up!" Sakki yelled, unable to find Tasuki, due to the fact that he was in the "little bandit's room". (Bad joke, yes…but still, kinda funny.)

"I'm trying to plan revenge, too…" Sakki added.

"She's asleep." Voldy pointed.

[Yes, this is self-bashing. I was so bored, and this idea popped into my head. The little hentai voice in my head doesn't like me, either!]

"Quick, grab the camera! Not the video camera, the regular one!" Sakki instructed.

I have no idea WHY I'm writing this…and my 8th period class is sooo annoying…!

Voldy arrived with the camera just in time to see:

SSJA beat the crap out of the people in her 8th period class and blast their remains to little pieces with ki blasts. To see Sakki drag a sleeping Suboshi over to 'Yui' and take a bunch of pictures. 

"Blackmail!" They cheered.

Please repeat step one a few more times, they're trying to steal my manga!

"Who's next?" asked Sakki.

"We have to wait for Nakago to come back no da!" said Chichiri.

"Let's all sleep for a while!" Voldy said. 

And they did. When everyone woke up, a very ragged looking Nakago said, "Those children are so…"

"Deadly?" Voldy asked.

Nakago nodded.

"Why do you think I kill them?" Voldy replied.

"Chichiri," said Nakago. Chichiri looked nervous.

[Insert scene where SSJA yells that some ass from school touched her FY manga #6…the ones with the twins! And it had Ryuuseisui in about 4 different places! Well…scratch that. It had the twins and showed Ryuuseisui a few times.]

"Now, what are we doing, again?" SSJA asked.

"Nakago's daring Chichiri to do something." Said Voldy.

"Chichiri, I dare you to pack Sakki!" said Nakago and everyone gasped, except Voldy, who was enjoying torturing everyone through Nakago. SSJA got bored and decided to skip the next part because it makes no sense.

[insert blank space at the bottom of the page, which nobody ever wrote in.]

[insert weird things on the side of the page, drawn by Voldy, and a note by SSJA reading "What's with the weird symbols, Voldy?]

Suddenly, Voldy and Sakki caught SSJA defenseless and wildly beat her with manga and textbooks. [SSJA: Oh, look at what nice friends I have…]

"Unfair! Two against one! And I don't even have a weapon!" 'Yui' yelled, attempting to fend off the blows from the manga/textbooks.

She ran to find some weapons of her own. "Where do they keep the weapons…?!"

"Yui-sama, I'll save you!" Suboshi exclaimed, attacking pretty much everyone in sight with Ryuuseisui.

'Yui' found some garden tools and proceeded to have a war with her friends. Suboshi, unable to resist using garden tools as weapons, joined in. Everyone else looked on and thought they were completely crazy—which they were. (I'm bored, ya know! Dubbed Chichiri, ya know!! Scary…)

"Ahhh!" they all yelled SIMULTANEOUSLY as a very large ki blast sped by.

"Will you stop that?!" Nakago demanded.

"They started it!" whined SSJA. "I was DEFENDING myself!"

"…" Nakago said.

"Weren't we playing the game?" SSJA asked, because she was still bored and trying to stick to the "plot". "It's—um—someone's turn. I don't know! Somebody dare someone else!" 

Silence. 

{Art class déjà vu!} "Did you all know Sakki wrote a corny fic?" SSJA began talking. "And it was corny! And sappy romantic-y!"

"Shut up!" yelled Sakki. 

Let's describe the scene, shall we? Just a day or two before, I finally got my notebook back from Sakki that they were writing the "Mysterious Crisis" fic in. She wrote 3 pages or so in…about 3 months! And it was a romantic-y thing, and so I had to make fun of it. You know, my duty as a humor writer and funny person. Unfortunately, Sakki doesn't like criticism very much. Lunch time, and Sakki is reading the two or three sentences above. Grabbing a pen, Sakki writes more in one class period or so than she had in three months. Do I feel special? No, not really. To make matters worse, Voldy joined in on "Let's Torture Arcanine!" What you are about to read is NOT what I wrote. My evil friends did. Anything that I wrote when I managed to steal our little fic back will be in italics, ok? Good. And I dare you to understand what Sakki wrote. …In your face, Sakki and Voldy! I have enough guts to type this!

"Shut up!" yelled Sakki. "Into the Hentai torture chamber of doom! KUKUKUKUU!!"

Sakki then proceeded to drag 'Yui' and whispered something shortly in Suboshi's ear. Then came to drag Tasuki. Suboshi escorted Sakki toward a big iron door that had kanji engraved on it saying "Hentai". Sakki pushed Suboshi in and tossed SSJA in, then closing the iron door with an audible SLAM! Then took a lot of chains and wrapped them around the door, ensuring that her victims couldn't escape. Then Sakki put on the air exhaust so her victims could breathe. "No one can stop me now!! Kukukukukuku!" 

"….Are we gonna fuck, baby??" Tasuki asked. Sakki replied, "Be patient…We're going to watch them now." Sakki walked over to a room that said viewing. Sakki walks in with Tasuki following her. Then in the middle of the room was a big cushy chair with LOTS of TVs lined up. Sakki pushed Tasuki into the chair. Then she turned on the TV We see Suboshi buck naked and fully aroused waiting. While SSJA tied up, suspended in air, her mouth duct-taped closed. SSJA was naked as well, the rope holding spread apart. [_Did anyone understand that last sentence??]_ Her legs were spread apart as well. Sakki turned her back from the scene and addressed Tasuki. "Let's watch this first, okay?" said Sakki. Then she picked up a mike and spoke into it. "Okay Suboshi, you can start now." Suboshi snapped out of his reverie and proceeded to….

__

I am going to kill Sakki. _[That was when I found the story and grabbed it to see what Sakki wrote. It was all I had the chance to write before Voldy and Sakki attacked me and made me give it back.]_

Have 'fun'! "Yui-sama! I swear to you that you will like what I'm going to do!!" said Suboshi dramatically all the while shaking a can of whipped cream.

switch screen

We see Sakki & Tasuki [_Yes, there was no end to this sentence._]

SSJA & Suboshi screen

Suboshi is putting whipped cream on 'Yui's' breasts and licking it off.

__

SSJA felt sickened and was happy, Happy, HAPPY that her mouth was taped shut.

Sakki's voice said loudly (with the microphone) "And that's only the beginning!" {As said in art class} 

SSJA gulped and swore under her breath. "With friends like you, I don't want to meet my enemies." 

"Ohhh… 'Yui', while you're being…I mean, having 'fun'! I'll watch you and have fun as well!" (_That would be Sakki.)_

"Whaaat?! I'm not having FUN!" 'Yui' attempted to yell through the duct tape but it came out as "Mmmph! Hdlfmdrfm Hmmerghf!"

"KUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUKUK!!" went Sakki through the loud speaker, _thoroughly enjoying her friend's torture._

"Did you say something, Yui-sama?"

"MPH…" (No…)

"What?"

"(Nothing)"

"Ok…? Let's continue!" said Suboshi happily.

__

"(No, let's not!)"

"Don't mind her Suboshi! She's trying to say that she likes it!" blared Sakki.

"OK!" went Suboshi.

__

"Mph." Muttered 'Yui', which translates to things that should not be said in fanfiction, real life or not at all.

The translation of her words appeared on Sakki's evil TV. Sakki picked up the microphone and began to describe in nauseating detail what the next bit of 'fun' would be.

'Yui' swallowed and narrowed her eyes evilly. 'At lunch, I will make Sakki choke on her food. (By the way: It didn't work.)

As Suboshi listened to Sakki, his eyes went wide. "We're going to have LOTS of fun, Yui-sama!"

'Yui' shook her head. "I hate ropes…" she muttered, attempting to untie herself. 

"That's the point!" yelled Sakki, when she saw the words on her evil TV of doom.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" SSJA thought, remembering his newest fic idea was about who Captain Obvious really was. But that's another fic.

Voldy suddenly appeared and yelled, "Bulma's Magic Rope™!"

__

SSJA rolled her eyes. Voldy realized that she forgot Sakki and Tasuki were naked and quickly put on blinders._ While Voldy watched SSJA being tortured, she wondered about the best form of government for the Realm of Darkness: anarchy, democracy, etc._ MONARCHY. 

"How the hell is there a democracy in the Realm of Darkness?!" Said Sakki.

[Insert comment that's too much of a stupid joke to write.] _Voldy, of all people, wrote this next part. Yes, Voldy. The psycho, violent maniac who apparently can write hentai as long as it involves torturing her friend. *Sigh* And then this tortured friend is tortured even further by having to type it…_

"Here." Said Suboshi, putting on a condom before he thrust himself into 'Yui'.

"(Noooooooooooooooo!)" cried SSJA in a panic.

"I'm so glad you are enjoying yourself, my Yui-sama!" said Suboshi. "I am too!" he added.

Sakki laughed maniacally. Voldy felt bad for SSJA but then realized she could get back at her for all those times SSJA hit her on the head with no reason. Suboshi withdrew himself.

"Wasn't that fun, Yui-sama?" yelled Suboshi. "Let's do that again!"

"Actually, I think I'll use more **whipped cream**!"

After that, 'Yui' found herself almost completely covered in whipped cream. A bottle of fudge fell from a slot in the ceiling.

"Thank you, Sakki!" yelled Suboshi, adding the fudge to 'Yui'.

"Mmm…" said Suboshi, licking off the whipped cream and fudge.

"Mmmph!" said 'Yui' which meant "mmmph!"

"Do you think we've tortured her enough, Sakki?" asked Voldy.

"Nope." Said Sakki.

"She must suffer!" she added. 

"When can we fuck?" asked Tasuki.

"Later." Said Sakki.

"Never!" said Voldy.

Suboshi and SSJA

(But SSJA managed to get the story before Voldy could write any more! Kwaa ha! And decided to stop writing in italics…!)

SSJA "blink-blinked" multiple times as she sat at the desk in her 8th period. o_O (Insert rant that has nothing to do with anything at all here.) 

'You should all be very happy for duct tape, or I'd be cursing worse than Tasuki!' 'Yui' thought to her "friends". 'I'm going to be sooo traumatized…"

(Insert ANOTHER rant, this time, one that has to do with the fact that I write funny scenes and all they write is stupid, evil hentai.)

"And you should think twice before insulting my story." Sakki replied.

"Or hitting me on the head." Voldy agreed.

"You don't see ME writing elaborate hentai torture scenes, do you?" muttered 'Yui' and she continued to think of a way to escape. 

"Let's see…tied up, mouth duct-taped shut, 'psycho yo-yo boy', evil hentai-minded friends watching—and bent on revenge—I'd say that my chances of escape are…" thought 'Yui'.

"Zero?" asked Sakki through the microphone.

And we take you LIVE to the hentai room where a nauseated SSJA/'Yui' attempts to think up an escape plan! 

"There is no escape!" Sakki and Voldy said evilly, for probably the 12th time.

"Inhale…exhale…inhale…exhale…" SSJA thought to herself, attempting to remain calm. Note the 'attempting to'. 

"Now feel my vengeance!" said Voldy maniacally pressing a button. It then rained Mentos and M&Ms.

"Mmm…" 'Yui' said (and it came out just like that). "(Wait! Damn duct tape…)"

Voldy laughed loudly and 'Yui' continued to stare at the M&Ms and Mentos that were being wasted.

[Thou shalt not waste sugar.]

"(Fooooood!)" exclaimed 'Yui', shooting death glares at Sakki and Voldy.

"I'm done now." Said Voldy, going to set up an assassin's guild/kodoku black market with Nakago. Nakago only did this because he gets 50% of profits.

Hentai Room

Suboshi is sleeping.

"OK. You've had enough!" said Sakki.

Everyone put on their clothes and was rather deranged.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU SAKKI!" yelled SSJA, running after her.

"AAAGGH!" yelled Sakki as SSJA was strangling her.

"STOP IT!" yelled Voldy, who suddenly ran in. "Hire an assassin instead!" she added. 

Everyone ran to Voldy and Nakago's Assassin Guild and Kodoku black market™. Suboshi and Tasuki were on line for kodoku and SSJA and Sakki were trying to see who would get on Voldy's line first.

"Welcome to Voldy's Assassin's Guild™!" cried Voldy. "Here we have many high quality assassins you can choose from."

3 curtains appeared. Voldy continued, "Behind curtain number one, we have…" The curtain opened.

"Bobofet! He enjoys working for Sith lords and hunting down Jedi, Princesses and smugglers." People applaud. Curtain 2 opens. 

"This is Fat Bastard. He enjoys eating babies and uses the smell of his crap!"

"Could he eat Baby?" asked SSJA. (BTW: Baby is a villain from Dragon Ball GT. Either that, or his name is Bebi, or a dozen other things…)

"Yes!" said Voldy. 

"Now for our final assassin you can choose today! Her name is Cailya!" cried Voldy as the curtain opened to reveal an elf in a black robe holding a dagger.

"She knows a wide variety of poisons and has a magic poison dagger!" Added Voldy. "So, SSJA, do you pick 1, 2, or 3?"

Some voices yelled, "2…3…pick 1…pick 8!"

"Um…" said SSJA.

"Uh…3!" she cried.

"You have picked assassin number 3, Cailya the elf!" said Voldy. "Money please."

"What?!" asked SSJA.

"You pay ½ first, then the other half once the victim is dead." Said Voldy. 

"Um…how much does this cost?"

"$75."

"So I pay $37.50."

"Yup."

SSJA decided not to hire an assassin because that would take away the fun of hurting Sakki herself!!

Meanwhile, Sakki gets angry that Voldy wrote about letting SSJA out of the Hentai Room. 

**__**

Stay tuned for the next installment of our insane little fic! ~Review please!~


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